Duke and Ductape Refuse to Stop Eating or Arguing About ImmigrationMay 23, 2006

A debate between allies

DuctapeFatwa and Duke1676

Even though you know the drill now - the blindfold, the delicious smells, the impossibly thick carpets, you still feel a bit nervous. For one thing, there are reports that the dishes this evening will include a veal scallopini personally made by DuctapeFatwa himself, and it is unlikely that you will be able to politely avoid tasting it, whether you are opposed to veal on general principle, or merely do not associate Ductape with the preparation of fine Italian cuisine.

Few, if any, do, and you are unable to shake off a vague feeling of unease: <i>Why</i> in the world would he do such a thing? What secret coded message might he be sending to what shadowy Italian sleeper cell by such an act?

Even Duke is said to be perplexed, and not a little apprehensive about consuming such a dish prepared by such an unlikely chef. Not a chef at all, in fact - if reports are to be believed, he can barely make a decent dal, it is said, and the pinnacle of his previous lifetime culinary achievement has been publicly acknowledged as whipping up a simple vegetable curry that while, to date, has produced no casualties, neither has it produced anything like praise.

A sudden thought comes unbidden, and unwelcome: Will Duke have cooked something too? If he has, you will surely have to eat it, and nothing in the little that is known of this mysterious and verbose word-slinger suggests that he has ever even entered a kitchen, much less produced any alleged comestible substance while in one.

And then there is no more time for thought, because the blindfold is removed, and there he is. So the rumors are true that he has taken to wearing a sombrero, apparently not even removing it to dine. His ancient, turbanned companion appears not to notice, being intently engaged in constructing a most remarkable burrito from succulent Palestinian lamb cubes and plump Israeli couscous, topping it off with an improbable but somehow tempting combination of kim chi and zaweg job’n.

Seeing you, he makes great ceremony of setting it onto your plate, rapidly being filled by a small army of smiling servers, and Duke joins them, arranging a small mountain of Peking duck onto a bed of what appears to be risotto, but might be paella, or might be one of those magical rices of Kashmir and Persia. They both hope you had a comfortable trip, apologize profusely, as before, for the necessity of the blindfold, shrug, laugh, and whisper instructions that additional silken pillows be provided for your reclining comfort, for Ductape is adamant that this good old fashion is better for the digestion, and so you sink as if into a cloud, every sense assailed by beauty, fragrance, subtle,delectable combinations of flavors, as above the soft music, now sitar, now shamisen, now marimba, now oud.

Duke begins:
“It was actually Man Eegee who recalled to my mind Steve Soto’s article. It’s funny, I was working on a piece myself about the barebones, practical politics of this issue. Soto’s analysis is good but I don’t totally agree with him. He is right that the whole mess is blowing up in the Republican’s faces but I don’t think Reid should back off, but rather continue to force the issue. The Republicans are totally divided on this issue right now. The wing-nut brigade MUST bring home the bacon before November or have to face a now riled up constituency at home.

Frist, on the other hand, must walk a tightrope between them and the business interests that want guest workers and amnesty; Bush, trying to walk so sort of magic middle ground, wants his braceros without the amnesty. At this point, especially after the marches and the increased press on the issue, most Republicans outside of the Tancredo camp probably wish this whole thing would just go away. My advice to Reid would be - don’t let them stall and sweep this under the carpet or capitulate. Hold their feet to the fire.

There is NO way the Repugs can reach consensus. It’s impossible. Soto is right that they will implode, but it doesn’t have to be at the cost of acceptance of the Sensenbrenner bill and a Bush veto. That leaves only Bush hanging out to dry and the wing-nuts can go home and say they accomplished their part if not for their lame duck President.

It is far better, in my opinion, to draw this battle out as long as possible ... all along dividing the Republicans even more and giving none of them a victory before November. It is best to keep all the cats in the bag and allow them to fight it out. They will all walk away losers. A new congress comes in January and real immigration reform can begin. Let them reap what they have sown.”

And with a characteristic cock of one eyebrow, Duke smiles and returns to his Pud Thai and Pesto Chalupa, dribbling it generously with Berebere sauce.

For a minute there is only soft music - oudh maybe? As Ductape adds a dollop of creme fraiche to a fried Poblano chile stuffed with what appears to be Chicken Vindalu, he frowns and reaches for a bit of fennel, then speaks.

“Duke, you ought, by all rights, to be right. But realistically, do you think that the Democrats can “reach consensus” either?

My sense is that there are lot of younger folks, in Washington and far away from it, who are learning just how little has changed since 1963...”

Before you even have time to register surprise at this uncharacteristic brevity, Duke replies.

“The current rank and file need not reach consensus and probably won’t … (which is quite obvious from even a cursory look at Kos)… only the representatives in the Senate do, and they are pretty united on this. They realize that the republicans have created a a no-win situation for themselves on this issue.

Now, if they were to hold strong and let this blow up all over the repugs, how they would deal with this issue come November is another question - which is I think your point - but if the immigrant and Latino communities truly mobilized come November and finally become a viable political force (outside of California) the Dems would be not only be the beneficiaries but also be beholden to them if they wished to keep power.

Here is where the true power of the immigrant’s rights movement could take effect. The party that earns the support of the immigrant and Latino communities becomes not only the party of the future, but also the one in great measure controlled by them. Agendas will be set and policies made by those who control the ballot box. Look how much damage has been done by a relatively small group of Christian-right fanatics in the last six years, simply because they could turn out the vote.

As you have wisely pointed out before, demographics are on the side not of the old white establishment, but rather the young, growing brown one.

You must remember, Ductape that I have not yet given up ALL hope that sometimes the system gets one right.”

That famous smile again lights up the room, inspiring someone to bring in a platter containing a dainty and glistening Hawaiian suckling pig. This night is clearly no respecter of anyone’s religious dietary laws, nor are the diners, as the porcine delicacy is welcomed with obvious anticipation. Laughing, Ductape spears an especially delicious-looking morsel with his signature short sword, and with a gracious nod, places it on my plate, and still laughing, turns to his opponent.

“Well just because something hasn’t happened yet...

Yes the future demographics will have the potential of impacting “voting” should Diebold go out of business by the time all those kids turn 18, but at the present time, all that demographic clout exists more in the arena of realpolitik than in that of “elections,” meaning that while there are certainly more Latin Americans who are eligible to vote than was the case ten or even five years ago, as I am sure you are aware, for every person who purchased their documents from the Washington retailer there are -- (we don’t really know the number, and if we did, saying it might be disturbing to sensitive viewers who did not).

And of course we all must remember that when I say that I am hopeful, I am not making reference to anything related to the system, unless you count its long-overdue relocation to the dumpster.”

It must be the exceptional, near-other-worldly quality of the food, you reflect, that is causing the acknowledged Master of Verbosity to be so concise tonight, could someone have been secretly coaching him?

Unabashed, Duke answers with his own startling display of unexpected brevity.

“Ah, Ductape, once again we tread familiar ground.

while there are certainly more Latin Americans who are eligible to vote than was the case ten or even five years ago

And over forty percent of them have until recently been partaking of the Bushian Kool-Aid. Add those to the numbers who have only now awakened to see the true peril, and will for the first time, (possibly after living here for years) join the ranks of the voting and you will have the kind of numbers that forced arch-conservative policy maker Grover Norquist to warn his fellow evil-doers that screwing with the Latino vote in particular would be their downfall.

Not to mention the myriad of other ethnic groups of every color of the rainbow who now no longer see Bush and his minion as their ‘All-American Heroes’.”

With what can only be described as a smirk, Ductape layers thin slices of Chateaubriand onto a biyali, adding, as if by last minute impulse, a ladle or two of Crawfish Etoufee, and warms to his subject.

“Yes, I know the Democrats hope that all those people will now drink their Kool-Aid instead.

What I am wondering, though, is whether there is much chance of that happening, since we are talking about people who tend to be more politically sophisticated than the mainstream, and more likely to “exercise” as a result of actual differences regarding policies as opposed to policy presentation.

I think that both parties run into the same problem with the “regular” underclass, see Democrats: a Reality Check.

Now there is an immediate advantage, IF some sort of immediate and actual “migra relief card” is produced, and IF - I hate to keep bringing this up, but it’s a pretty big factor - the Diebold company goes out of business, and US undergoes major policy change regarding franchisement and vote counting, but those are both quite sizeable IFs, as is my IF hope, which is that next time, the numbers of people in the streets will multiply by a minimum of 10, which I think would have a good chance of catapulting the show into Double Jeopardy, where the values double and the scores can really change.

I know … Uncharacteristically optimistic of me.

Probably the meds... “

It’s only then that you notice the small pearl and jewel inlaid pillbox tucked under one of the long-winded terrorist’s cushions, but you are more tempted by Duke’s Moo Shu Coq Au Vin, which he lays down rather reluctantly, you think...

“I think they will not so much drink the Kool-Aid as make it … or hopefully a more flavorful metaphoric beverage. I think, as usual, we see the same problem but view the inevitable outcome and solution differently.

You see an utterly corrupt system that can only be fixed through its complete disassembly and reconstructed as a different entity.

I see an utterly corrupt system that can be fixed through a complete realignment of power from the bottom up.

Let me extrapolate… as if you thought I wouldn’t I see our current two party system as one in which the party in power now is completely evil. It represents all that is wrong with capitalism, exceptionalism, nationalism, racism, conservatism, xenophobia, homophobia, sexism, classism and probably 100 hundred other “isms” and “opias”.

I see the other party as an ineffectual shell, a holding pen for those not in power. Some are holdovers from a bygone era. Some are tyrants in waiting who were no better than their opponents in the past and given the opportunity would be no better in the future. Many are just floundering, not really sure why things are such a mess and just wishing things were different, but don’t really have any idea or vision of what different should look like. But most of all I see the “opposition party” as ripe for takeover.

Here I think is where you and I come to the fork in the road and take different paths.

I, as a progressive, see the Democratic Party as a weak and flaccid beast that is ripe for the picking. Once picked, it could be molded from the bottom up over time by a new generation and a different mindset to make the changes necessary to fix the broken nation. Here is where I see the revolution taking place.

Just as the right-wing freaks took the tattered shell of the Republican Party and reformed it in their image to do their evil bidding, the Democratic Party could be taken over by people who respect human dignity and rights globally, give two shits about the future, the environment, economic and political justice, etc. etc. etc. … just plain ordinary good humans… now, I at one time I had feared that such creatures had in fact ceased to exist …but as of late I have run across many here, so I know they’re not totally extinct.

You ask: What do the Democrats have to offer?

Nothing….nothing except a place for us to take over and re-mold.

You on the other hand see the revolution in more literal terms … A rising in the streets of the great masses to take back power, or if I read correctly …take power for the first time

I for one don’t see the great revolt ever coming. The masses, even the most oppressed, too easily placated by American Idol and cheap imports, have lost true revolutionary zeal and fervor. The path you seek requires not only great outrage and a willingness to make great sacrifice, but also great vision. But America, and all the rest of the “industrialized world” for that matter, has lost that vision in a blur of 24 hour cable access and Nintendo.

My revolution only requires those who truly desire change to re-invent the wheel... yours requires them to invent it for the first time.”

He returns to his Moo Shu, looking both pleased with it and himself. At last, we are getting some verbosity here. You had time to stuff your own interesting tower of Yebeg Wot, what appears to be Yorkshire Pudding, and a sprinkle of fresh coconut into the slot of a Steamed Pork Bun, as you try to follow the debate. Ductape’s laugh fills the room.

“Well, Duke, at least the sections are shorter, if James and Nanette are eyeing this with interest...

I see a one party “system,” largely cosmetic, essentially a framework for corporations to present and codify their policies.

It’s efficient, it’s effective, most people believe it is something quite different than what it is, and some even operate under the delusion that the politicians work for the people. Others have a very strong faith in the whole “voting” mechanism, as well as that delusion.

Thus one ends up with the independently whirling Orbits of pragmatism, orbits of doom.

Where we differ, maybe is in our views of whether “a complete realignment of power from the bottom up” constitutes Revolution or not.

I don’t think that you believe that the people in the streets are there because of an overwhelming desire to obtain “a place for us to take over and re-mold” any more than I do.

They want a card. There is a very small but vocal and idea-filled minority who would like a place to take over and remold, who hope that out of all those people in the streets, there will be enough of them who are able to bypass the Diebold company and vouchsafe unto that idea-filled minority a new and re-framed illusion, one so cleverly crafted that it will calm the fever of doubt, and some who sincerely believe that if only such a thing were to happen, that they would be able to get in a reality-based accent piece here or there.

Even such a modest hope, even assuming that there are enough potential “voters” there, and that Diebold is magically thwarted via means to be determined, is unlikely to be realized in the absence of a card, which is unlikely to be forthcoming for reasons detailed in the bandwidth gorging Dinner with Duke and Ductape (really short version: a card does not give the corporations anything).

So even that above-mentioned hope, in all its sincerity and innocence, where applicable, winds in upon itself in the tragic Moebius spiral.

What is interesting is that you come to a conclusion more pessimistic than I, who am decried and pelted with ripe fruit daily for being pessimistic, cynical, and all other adjectives that are routinely hurled at the few of us who are old enough to have seen this movie before, with different actors.

While I cannot disagree with your excellent and concise summary of why there are not “Americans” in the streets, nor can I disagree with the person on EuroTribune who referred to the US underclass as the “supine poor,” any more than I would presume to disagree with Mr. Frederick Douglass, who pointed out on several occasions that oppression is not without its consensual element.

Neither can I deny the fundamental reality of all negotiations, namely, once you reach a critical level of certainty that you will die whether you do what I want you to do or not, I have lost all my negotiating chips.

While this point has not yet been reached, as you correctly point out, not only in the wide worried fields of suburbia where the soccer moms bloom, but even among the stolid Wal-Mart employee base (who do seem to be taking a maddening amount of time to realize that they are in fact, there already), it has apparently been reached by all those people crossing deserts without water. (And though manifested in quite a different way, it has also been reached by a sizeable chunk of the US inner city population, huddled in warrens where popo won’t go, their only link with anything of that US officialdom consisting of some rather low-level covert connections involving the only industries with a higher profit margin than either weapons, oil, or medical treatment).

So on that point, not only must I respectfully disagree with your opinion that Revolution will never occur, my view is that it has now become inevitable.

That slippery substance under our feet is the blood of not just one, but several flocks of belly-slit geese, their golden-egg-laying days cut short by the same Greed that is the reason those good folks in the streets will not be getting their wallet-sized and laminated rectangle of reality basedness.

And yes, it will be necessary to invent the wheel for the first time. Rewriting the Great Law of the Iroquois to be applicable to all white male property owners, and spending the next couple of centuries carefully installing it in an elegant spindle holder in the West Wing bathroom does not a wheel invention make.

Sadly, there is no guarantee that it will be invented this time. What there is, and what I have, is hope.”

Duke ladles Nigerian Fish Stew into a puff pastry shell, takes a deep breath, gestures to Ductape to pass the chopped habaneros, and answers calmly.

“As is per the norm for our conversations, we have two different themes intertwined and weaving throughout.

The first being the actual viability of the “American Experiment”, the other being the political and social realities and ramifications of “immigration reform” On the first point we will usually agree to respectfully disagree. What you see as inevitable and inescapable, I see as avoidable. While I will acknowledge that the continually assault on the masses must eventually force them to demand change, we differ on what that change will be. I see that change as a re-arrangement of the power structure whereby the government becomes the tool and ally of the people rather than the corporation. The groundwork for such a system is in fact in place, it is up to the people to become angry enough to demand that kind of change. I realize you see things differently, and on this principle only time will tell who in fact has more realistic expectations.

As to the second thread of our conversation, and what originally brought us to this point; the strategy to get true immigration reform accomplished and get a “migra relief card” into the hands of 12 million plus deserving people, here is how I would sum up my points

1. Nothing will be done before November, and as I said earlier, I like that idea. Anything done now is done from a position of weakness politically. Those who hold the reigns of power currently will never do anything in the immigrants best interests and the best we could hope for is some sort of half-assed compromise that merely throws them table scraps. This lack of action only hurts the right-wing hate mongers politically.
2. Here comes the tough one …. through shear force of overwhelming numbers the American people rise up and defeat the Diebold machine and its beneficiaries in 2006.
3. Now we begin to institute change. First we get rid of the diebold machine forever. Second we hopefully get rid of the the figurehead leader of corporatists party, or at least render him so impotent that he can no longer do the great harm he has thus far managed to get away with. Thirdly we demand that our newly installed leadership be answerable to the people, and remind them daily of the fate of their predecessors who sold their souls for thirty pieces of Roman silver.
4. Now we take up immigration reform again, this time with the voices of the racists rendered to the peanut gallery. Without power the Boy-King can no longer demand his braceros program, so that sad chapter can finally be closed. As for the cheap labor corporatist ... their power will be waning. When they can’t buy machines to steal elections, the people no longer listen to their 15 sec. sound bites and their lobbyists and minions are marched off to jail one by one .. they will no longer be calling all the shots. Will they still have power ... yes ... but they won’t have all the power as they do now. We take up this debate now from a true position of power. Not from some “realpolitik” theoretical power position, but rather from one where the rights and concerns of millions of voters are addressed. Voters who now have a voice in the system, no longer disenfranchised by the manipulation of megabytes or mind control of manufactured sound bites and slogans.
5. Now comes the really good part. If …, and I admit this has all been a really big “if”, we accomplish those first four goals... 12 million newly minted “Migra get out of jail free” cards are placed in the hands of working people across this country. Additionally each year more and more join their ranks. Now my dear Ductape, here is where the revolution begins. Unions begin organizing, politicians now court, issues as far reaching as healthcare reform and living wage start to be addressed. Even international relations would be affected, as our foreign policy would now be written not with the concerns of rich old white men sitting in their corporate offices in mind, but rather the well-being of the people. Not just here, but from all corners of the globe, thanks to the influence of our new immigrant neighbors... can we talk Kyoto Protocols?

Now I realize this is all very optimistic thinking. But as I said waaaaay earlier, I see the current opposition party as an empty shell to be taken over and use as a tool for change. And I believe one of those groups who should be major players in taking over the party are the shiny, brand new, freshly minted citizens that will be produced in ever increasing numbers for years to come. Who better to remind us what this experiment is supposed to be about than those who have risked their lives to partake in it.”

Duke smiles amiably as, with an impressive fork maneuver, he attempts to hide a medallion of veal scallopini under an oversized dumpling stuffed with Szechuan pheasant and maque choux. You remember that the scallopini is rumored to have been prepared personally by his antique adversary, but Duke’s plan is foiled. The unlikely chef urges you both to sample his effort. Duke’s chiseled jaw tightens, as he bravely takes a bite. “Why, it’s magnificent!” he exclaims in honest astonishment, and seizing flatbread and horseradish, quickly makes a taco, and adorns it with pink Ukrainian potato salad.

Ductape nods approvingly and returns to his assembly of a traditional Cold Biscuit, Vidalia Onion and Tomato Sandwich, enhanced in this case by a generous spoonful of Cochinitas Piviles and a large piece of scalloppini and graciously presents it to you. It is delicious, and receives much more of your attention than the old man’s speechifying, which he resumes:

“I think where we disagree, first of all, has more to do with what constitutes Revolution, and secondly, whether the current “system” has any sustainable elements.

This is more a matter of perspective regarding the question of differences between the Democrats and the Republicans, I think, and in order to avoid disappointing lurkers who are rolling their eyes and saying “Oh yeah, this is where he posts some incomprehensible ramble with a link”:

This question reminds me of watching a lady shopping with her young daughters a few weeks ago. It was one of those vignettes that makes you smile, then makes you think. The daughters were debating which popular “designer” label jacket they should have. The mother was trying to persuade them to accept an article of superior fabric and sturdier construction, and at one point, even offered to sew the “designer” label that each girl desired on them. No one would be the wiser, she contended.

An immediate chorus of outrage from the daughters, impossible, the Ecco has this kind of stitching here, the Bongo doesn’t have a pocket there, and so on and so forth. These girls could, and did, describe exhaustively, literally dozens of differences between what appeared, to me, to be two very nearly identical jackets, save for the label.

The mother acknowledged that fine, no pocket over there, stitching over here. However, both are made of flimsy material that will not keep you warm, which is the purpose of a jacket, nor will it hold up to use and washing. You need good warm jackets, and that’s what you’re getting!
To the girls, the differences between their respective preferred trendy jackets were glaringly obvious, and to them, quite significant. The mother’s perspective on the matter was so far from theirs that those differences, whether they existed or not, were
irrelevant.

nerdified link

In other, and blessedly fewer words, if by whatever means either party were to cease being “the corporatist party,” you gotcha Revolution right there!

We both are quite burdened by rather large “ifs,” but our ifs like a lot of the same clothes.

IF the people in the streets agree to wait for a card until it is a good time vis a vis a political system from which they are excluded, and in which few view as having either credibility or legitimacy in large mounts, and IF the increasing number of erstwhile mainstreamers being “downshifted,” priced out of housing, after already having been priced out of medical treatment accept their lot meekly, and can be successfully persuaded that it is in fact a privilege to play such an important role in the War on Terror, and IF the first of the Medicare Death Waves can also be manipulated to occur subsequent to the various political activities, and IF there are no major hurricanes that result in cleansing operations that could be less acceptable to the public than the famous Operation Crescent Cleansing, and IF the invasion and occupation of Iran is effected without any reactions that impact “the average American” whoever he is, and IF domestic conflict can be averted, which opens a whole new can of IFs, then it is quite possible that the perfect storm can be navigated, and all will continue on as before, with some very strategic cosmetic and presentation changes, possibly for up to two years, certainly time for a very impressive stack of revenue to be generated to the intended recipients.

I, however, am not confident that any of these IFs, much less all of them in unison, can be counted on, and I could not in good conscience recommend such an eventuality as a sound investment.

On the other hand, both history and present offer ample evidence that the American public will stand for, even stand up and applaud, things that would have sent most populations to the streets long ago.

And I have a very recent history of being wrong. As I concede here”.

Duke leans back against his cushion and contemplates with visible delight his gulap jamun nested on a bed of lemon sorbet, sprinkles it with nearly-bitter chocolate, and motions for more pastries to be brought before us. It is true then, that he will permit nothing to interfere with dessert.

“Once again it appears we have reached our inevitable impasse, and as usual, with the utmost respect, agree that we will probably never agree on the ultimate outcome of the simmering caldron discontent.

The one thing I think that brings us both some glimmer of hope is the fact that daily more and more people seem to be wiping the morning dust from their sleepy eyes, awakening to the realization that this situation can no longer go on and something drastic must be done. Perhaps we have not yet reached critical mass yet ...but it looks like we are getting closer.”

Ductape nods. Though his dessert participation has been somewhat hobbled, his enjoyment has not, and he offers no rebuttal to Duke’s implication that now that the sweets have arrived, the time for debate has concluded.

Dipping lichee nuts onto a slice of Lady Baltimore cake, you find yourself in agreement with them both, and also in agreement that they have both said quite enough. “Stirling Newberry, eat both their dust,” is the last thing you can remember about the evening, though you are quite sure that at some point, brandy and a hookah became present...