Immigration - Intro: The scene is set. The topic is outlined. We begin.Mar 27, 2006

A conversation between allies on immigration reform.

Ductape Fatwa

You have been spirited away to an undisclosed location. The blindfold made you a little nervous at first, but the smooth hum of the limo, the strains of Verdi, the fragrance of sandalwood, soothe your other senses, and after a while you find it quite pleasant.

Your vision restored, you slowly take in your surroundings. Quite elegant. Having left your shoes outside the door at the polite prompt of your guide, your feet sink into soft silk carpets, inches deep, centuries old. A delicious and indefinable fragrance assails your nostrils. And there they are. Reclining comfortably on embroidered cushions, rug piled upon rug, you lower yourself rather awkwardly, you think, onto even softer carpets, plump, resilient pillows welcome you. Are you here to sleep, or eat? Before you can ponder this, the dishes begin to arrive. And arrive.

There is yebeg wot from sunny Ethiopia, moles, both red and green, from Mexico, coq au vin for those with a taste for a taste of France, kashmiri lamb, that fragrance you smelled on the way in? No, that must be the Bi Bim Bop. Or that mound of rice, something. Maybe more lamb? A huge platter of everything tandoori appears,  steaming tureens of ground nut stew, crawfish etoufee, cochinitas piviles wienershcnitzel?

Trays of every kind of bread, injera, tortillas, naan, paper thin pancakes for the moo shoo, you thought, but Duke is rolling yebeg wot into one, making a taco. He adds kim chi from the fantastic array of relishes and condiments, creamy raita, salsas of every variety, hot mango chutney, little dishes of things you have no idea what they are, but Ductape Fatwa is piling them onto his chicken tikka burrito. Hands fill your plate, urge you to make tacos from the world’s finest foods.

A familiar gurgle, your glass is filled with a 72 Clos de Vougeout. You gulp, then sip, taste, savor. Finally you understand that the delightful aroma you smelled upon entering is all these things, all these things together. Maybe this is heaven. What did you do todeserve this? All you thought you did was read Duke’s immigration plan, on his blog, and now here you are, indescribably delicious flavors fill your mouth, a friendly hand refills your wine glass. In between bites of global tacos, they talk. You listen, quite busy with your own world bonding of tastes and textures. You put a dab of coq au vin on a naan. And just a soupcon of those preserved onions..

DuctapeFatwa:

I read this when he posted it on another blog. I do appreciate the time and effort he has put into it.

Before commenting further I will confess my bias. I do not consider that the US has any authority to tell the sons and daughters of the indigenous people of the Americas that they cannot move from one part of their continent to the other.

I’m not sure how anxious most people coming to the US from Mexico and Central America would be to fill out forms. I do not think that, due to history, there is a great level of trust in US officialdom, and if you remember, during the Amnesty, those who bought letters to arreglar were in the minority. While Amnesty turned out not to be a trick, in my opinion, that single event especially, again, considering the history, both before and since, has not elevated that level of trust sufficiently to make some aspects of his plan practical.

Another bias I will confess. I am not an “assimilation” fanatic. In fact, I can’t even claim to consider it particularly desirable, aside from things like driving on the right side of the road, and if one has papers purchased from Washington, waiting for the police in the case of auto accidents, or matters of convenience, like practicing “hora de aqui” when going for job interviews, and calling in sick when one is sick, as opposed to showing up once one is well.

I see a lot of areas for improvement in his idea of forcing everyone who fills out these forms and pays the fees to learn English.

First, as a practical matter, it is not necessary any more to speak English in the US if you speak Spanish. One or the other will make life much easier. I am reminded of a guy I saw a couple of years ago on CNN who made the very good point that if your children do not speak Spanish, and they are not learning it in school, you should demand to know why. If you have hopes that they will one day be employable.

Being bilingual is a distinct advantage in the workplace, though Duke does not mention anything about requiring employers to learn Spanish.

Nor does he address what is, in my experience, the major obstacle faced by people who actually want to learn English: They tend to work 18 hours a day, and as anyone knows, learning a second language is not something that happens in a classroom anyway. A class can be a great help, but the determining factor in whether one learns a second language or not is how much one hears it outside the classroom.

So a program designed to obligate people to learn a second language is essentially a non-starter. One - it’s not something that can be done unless there is a sincere and strong desire for the language for its own sake. Two - anything that requires people to forfeit hours of work in order to attend a class will simply reduce even further the number of people who fill out the forms, and three, it will make little difference even if someone attends a class if the class is the only place the person hears English, Which brings us back to my original point that it is not necessary to speak English to live and work in the US.

This aspect of the program also appears to make the assumption that everyone who arrives in the US seeking to work is literate in Spanish. I have seen too many English as Another Language classes that quickly evolved into adult literacy classes to express much optimism that Duke’s program participants will fit so readily into the slots he desires.

On the whole, the program looks complicated to me, and I cannot imagine that it would seem any less so to someone from a small village in Guerrero who may or may not be able to read and write in Spanish or have a positive prior history of exposure to electric light, though he may, and probably does have many other very valuable skills.

It appears to be a rather bulky process whose main purpose is to weed out criminals, which, while admirable, is just not applicable commensurate with the sheer volume of requisitos and tramites he would inflict on his indigenous brothers when weighed against the incidence of dangerous career criminals who have crossed masquerading as just another worker.

People who come to the US to work, who cross deserts without water, who endure beatings, sexual assault, robbery, and risk their lives and the possibility of never seeing again those loved ones back home for whom they do all this, are not interested in committing crimes. If they were, they would be more likely to go to Cancun or Acapulco, where the white folks are more likely to be carrying cash and/or valuables, and/or be careless with them.

The last thing someone whose family back home is food insecure, and has undertaken such a dangerous process in order to feed them wants is problems. Filling out forms, paying fees, all that rigamarole are problems not too far down the scale from problems with the law or with the migra. Nobody wants to get caught by the migra, get deported and have to do the whole process over again.

Which they do, another factor that I wonder if Duke is aware of. When people are caught by the migra and returned to Mexico, they simply come back, often the same day.

I do agree that some sort of accountablility is needed. The majority of people who come to work are young men between the ages of 16 and 25, most away from home for the first time. They drive cars.

Thus it is better for road safety if people are issued drivers licenses, complete with fingerprints, without regard to immigration status. The prints can then be checked against the famous US databank of fingerprints of dangerous criminals, and no matter whether the individual is using his real name or not (most don’t) he will be using his real fingerprints.

I am also opposed to the practice of witholding from peoples’ pay, social security taxes when they will never receive any social security, and the overtaxing of these very low income workers, most of whom do not know how to manipulate their W-4 forms, therefore making the government a gift of the money, as they cannot apply for a refund, because they are using Barbara Bush’s social security number. While this is not a problem for the majority, who work as independent contractors, or informally and in cash, it is still an injustice that needs to be corrected for the benefit of the ones who are exploited in this way.

Especially since the future of the social security program is now somewhat shaky, to say the least, it would make more sense in my opinion, to make participation in this program optional, and make this known to the immigrant community using every means possible, from signs in Spanish posted in several locations in the workplace, radio and TV ads, etc., as well as information on how to complete the W-4 form so that only one’s actual tax is withheld.

I am also in favor of requiring employers to pay people in accordance with the minimum wage laws, which God knows are minimal enough, and require strict adherence to rules of breaks and overtime, and encourage reporting of any violation, which will be taken, investigated, and prosecuted without regard to the immigration status of the worker who made the complaint, which can be anonymous.

With all the money that Duke’s program would cost, these simple measures that would actually benefit the workers could be employed, and there would be plenty left over to outfit US borders as they should be, with free coke machines, rest rooms, including changing tables for moms, and big signs saying “Bien Venido! Toma Coca-Cola bien fria en botella”.